Doing Bad in What I Like.

01/22/2013
Hey guys, 

How are ya'll doing? Today's rant is about how sometimes it sucks when you love something (i.e hobby,subject,passion) but can't reach that expectation. 

Today I faced an event that made me feel worthless, crap, useless and whatever sad things that may sound like a loser. Why? , because when I like doing this particular something or putting a lot of time on that. It  always backfires and comes back down with unforgiving results. Don't you hate it? When you put much passion into the thing that you do the most worst in? But cant seem to hate it because you like it so much? 

When you finally get the results of what you placed your passion in, the result isn't as you expected. The thing is by time ,it gets worse and only gets worse as each passing day comes by. 
I find it annoying how you struggle your best into that passion and feeling, although it may sound hypocritical because I'm a firm believer in effort. Life just sometimes knows how to buttfuck you so hard that you just can't even respond too it and just accept it.

I know for me it was English.. learning, writing, reading English. I had a thing for it but it never did for me. Everyday I would pray to some god out there begging that I just do well enough that I feel will suffice into my own conscious and usually it never does and just makes me deeply depressed. What other things that come to my mind is that I start thinking about  how or what factors did I do to receive this? I reflect and access my situation which then I go into a philosophical view and start inputting the grief cycle upon myself. 

I'm legitimately exhausted , that I can never do enough to prove that I don't deserve what I get back in return. As well, I guess sometimes it goes back into my teachers and where they were taught .
Heheheheheheheh.... sometimes I wish I can just go into endless tangents of discussion in my paper and probably be assessed with that xP because I probably can ace that. . . . =)


Anyways I guess my resolve is probably just suck it up and try harder. .  Despite how much I  don't get credited for it. Moral of the rant is just don't give up? I mean I know I'm not doing that well but I will walk with all of you guys who are going through the same problem as I am. 

So in conclusion, probably the most important thing is that passion and love. Don't lose it and don't give it up if its not working out easily. If what you like is not loving you back keep persisting. I know I will and hopefully I will see better results in my life and won't become crazy about not receiving what I should have got. (aww my Hyuna over there looks frustrated TT .TT . . hehhe ^^ btw that's my waifu)

 Question for you guys!! Do you guys have something you really love to do but will never receive the love back?


Bye bye guys!!