How many times in my life am I antagonized for him to feel good about himself for his own insecurities(Answer is ALOT). Like hooooly. Yes , I know I am not perfect. I get that. I do admit I'm wrong and I apologize. However , once I let my guard down to apologize. . . Don't start adding all this bs crap that was not even my fault but just needed to add extra shitt so you can have a finger to point at.
For pete's sakes , how tolerable do you think I am? For my past year you've done nothing as I have done so much for you. Sure pay the fucking bills , but understand that you don't pay the majority of it which doesn't give you the right to say because you have bills to do, that you can't even write a simple card on office paper. Like wth. Every Christmas and on his birthdays I've given him gifts ranging from prices. Some times I can afford big sometimes small . . but regardless it was something and ofc thought was placed in it. Understanding that I never received even a penny from him or just a simple card OR WHATEVER. To me w/e . . I'm tolerable I get it . . but to an extent. . . (Also can I add how many meetups with old friends and gangs with school I could of hung out with but didn't? Because , he didn't want to drive for a few minutes whether sunny, rainy , snowy . . How many opportunity I missed because of him? I'll write that in another post)
Yes , I am a bottle and blast person I keep it in and hold my emotions til I get the right time to go into a catharsis. Great job , my brother pushed me again for shit. We yelled and argued. Him wanting to address what my problem is with him. Honestly I said it all . . everything. How its not fair that you can judge me for almost everything that breaks around your area of appliances. Why can't you just assume guilty unless proven? Like wth. . I even fucking apologized. . .Lmao then he said he apologized and hoped to be forgiven. Fuck no I ain't. These problems with him and I are habitual. I'm sick of it , no more "yes yell at me more shizz" and time for a stand. The more I allow him to understand that the problem is gone quicker since forgiving is ever so easy in his eyes to me, the more he'll just assume its me when something goes wrong.( Oh btw , he might be thinking i'm typing this to all my friends right now how he's a jerk off, since he understands I'm a social butterfly. But really , that's not my style. . .I like to write as an outlet and here I am writing how I feel and its calming my nerves. Though he probably is telling his friends in spite of me looking like I am trying to type to every friend I can find)
But anyways . .
As we were yelling these notes hit me. When I addressed that I was angry that he yelled at me for (reasons above) but fixed/solved them later on. I was like wth in my head. WAIT so you just scolded me for doing something that could be fixed? HELLO MEGAN ,learn to fucking compose yourself and your god dam emotions. I get it you're in the heat of the moment but think next time think . . . can it be fixed? Is yelling really going to make this problem be fixed?
My god . . what I do just to hit him in the face like in those anime's. *ANIME SLAP TO THE CHEEK* ^0^ lol . . .
I feel better . .
Bye bye guys~!
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